Hey Jealousy

You know that feeling. Your co-worker bought that new car you've been dreaming of. Your best friend is suddenly in love, and you're left out. Your man is a little too close to that girl he's talking to. The guy in front of you bought the last bag of Cheetos. Your blood boils. You become obsessed and sometimes irrational. But you're certainly not jealous. Nope. That stuff only happens reality show "stars" and New York housewives.

Pretty much everyone is or has been jealous at one point in their lives. For the most part, it's harmless. Usually the worst thing about jealousy is having to spell it (why they don't just throw an "i" in it to complete the vowel family is beyond me). Sometimes it can ruin relationships. Sometimes it can strengthen them. The dangers of jealously lie in the severity of the person that has it, but also the way others react to it.

Most jealousy stems from either desire or fear. Sometimes it's justified, and sometimes it's unfounded.

There different categories and levels of jealousy. Interestingly enough, like everything else in life, I noticed they correlate with drinking.

Mild jealousy is like one or two beers. You get a slight buzz, and it usually makes you more sociable and open to things, but you are still in full control of your own devices.

Mild jealousy is healthy for the most part. This level of jealousy usually drives us to do better. If you're jealous of the six pack abs of the guy next to you, you'll use that jealousy to either get a six pack of your own, or dismiss it as something you really didn't want anyway. 

 You can be jealous of a team’s success and use that for a good nature rivalry. Mild jealousy is also healthy to relationships. Seeing your significant other occasionally jealous is a nice ego boost and a reminder that they still desire you.

The next level of jealousy is similar to a person after 3-4 drinks. You become a wild card and can go either way. Either the life of the party, or the depressed dude in the corner clutching his drink.

Mid-level jealousy beings to walk a fine line. Sometimes this level is justified. There is a legitimate reason to be jealous, but there isn’t enough evidence. This jealousy can shed light onto the problem if you’re right. Unfortunately it can make things worse if you’re wrong. Being jealous of a female friend of your boyfriend could be based on signs you are seeing, but perhaps he isn’t. It could also be that you are misinterpreting those signs.  Either way you have a legitimate reason to be jealous, but it’s at the point to where something needs to happen to diffuse it. At this level, like drinking, you still have some rational control, but you’re teetering on the edge and in danger of losing sight of reality.

While everyone has different drink tolerances, there comes a time when you’ve had too many and you’re just making an as of yourself. You become irrational, argumentative, and oblivious to your environment.

This is the same with full-blown jealousy. At this level, jealousy is rooted in paranoia. Forbidding your child to play with a neighbor because you think they are so perfect and flaunting every purchase. Preventing your wife from even talking to a man. Trying to sabotage a co-worker because you think they keep getting praised by the boss.

Full blown jealousy needs to be called out immediately. Just like your drunk friend puking in the lawn, they need help returning to reality. Don’t do it while they are upset, because they won’t listen, but they need to hear things from an unbiased perspective. Sometimes, like alcohol, it never gets better you have to remove them from the problem. Other times, you can get talked down to a more reasonable level.

Just like drinking, jealousy in moderation isn’t a bad thing. In some instances it’s actually a good thing. Like many things, it is something that can snowball into something unmanageable. Seeing the signs in yourself, or your friends and loved ones can help prevent jealousy from going over-board and passing out in your bathtub.