Love Stinks

The J. Geils Band has it right. Love Stinks. I'm not talking about loving your family, football team, or shiny new 65 inch 4K LED 3D smart TV. I'm talking about LOVE Love. Oooey Gooey romantic, butterflies-in-the-stomach, buying-tampons-in-the-supermarket Love.

Following the end of my marriage, I've been once again chasing that elusive purple dragon we call Love, and boy, has she not aged well since I last saw her. Upon further reflection, Love seems to have caused more pain than pleasure. I've been in love, but waited too late to say it. I've pretended being in love for 16 years, hoping the real thing would eventually manifest itself (for those prepping comments, it was mutual, and, wait-for-it; the subject of another blog). I've fallen in love at first sight, remain in love with someone I can't be with, wisely kept myself from loving someone who wasn't ready for it (with me, anyway), and trying not to fall for someone who currently doesn't want it.

Some of the Beatles' wisest words

Sure, the feeling is bliss while it's happening. You want to write songs and curl up inside that wonderful feeling. You feel better, look healthier, and people notice "something different about you". Woodland creatures help you clean your house and sew dresses. No wonder so much music and literature has been dedicated to it. But that's only 1% of Love. The other 99% stinks.

I yearn for that 1% feeling. I've tasted it. I know what it's like and I know I want it again, but that's how Love fools you. It cloaks the 99% stink with a lemony fresh scent. Okay, usually it's more of a Margarita or a Mai Tai scent, but it's cloaked all the same.

I'm not a hopeless romantic that falls for the first pretty woman I see, but I make up my mind about things I want rather quickly. (That new lawn mower might be useful, but I'll think about it. Those Beatles commemorative spoons? Ring them up!) I want to make the most of something as soon as possible and not waste any time I could be enjoying it. Now, I've learned relationships need to develop and getting to know someone takes time, but Love manifests itself at the beginning (and if it doesn't, you shouldn't be wasting your time on that relationship). There's even a scientific way to quantify it using a revolutionary technology called "text messages". I like you, you seem to like me, why beat around the bush?

It seems beating around the bush is what is currently in fashion, however. Apparently, Love is now a game, and it seems that everyone but me has the latest version. Why can't it be simple like in the movies? Boy meets girl, Love happens, and despite some last minute misunderstanding, Love conquers all in the end.

I'm not naive enough to think that Love really conquers all in the real world, but so many never give it a chance anymore. We're a spoiled society. Always looking for an upgrade. People are worried if they allow themselves to fall in Love, then they'll miss a chance to hook up with the latest new toy that may come along in the future. Like my iPhone, there's always going to be a new one coming out next year. If you keep holding out for the new one, you'll never be able to enjoy the one that's already available.

Which brings me back to Love stinking. It's complicated. It's impossible to figure out. It's gonna hurt you far more times than it'll help. But even though it stinks, it doesn't mean it's sour. That 1% is still there. I've been beaten, bloodied and bruised, but like level 65 on Candy Crush, I know there's a way to win.

(Now, if only there were a restart button to press until I get it right...)