My last semi-bitter post about Love made think of a related subject I’ve discussed with a few jaded people in my life. Is there such a thing as a Soulmate? If you’re lazy and don’t want to read the rest of the blog, I’ll share the answer. Definitely, Yes.
(In an interesting side-note, Microsoft Word is flagging "Soulmate" as an illegitimate word.)
Still reading? Okay, let me clarify what my definition of Soulmate is. First and foremost, as with any word, “soulmate” is simply a word invented to describe something. In this case, it’s a relationship with another human. Not a necessarily a lover, spouse, or romantic interest, though the majority of opposite sex soulmates fall into this category (and I suppose some same sex). Think of your best friend since grade school. That one who you do everything with, knows your secrets, and your favorite flavor of ice cream. Yeah, that’s a Soulmate.
What is a Soulmate? It’s a person you have an instant connection with. Something that’s immediate, but you can’t quite explain. It’s a form of “love at first sight” but as I explained earlier, Love is not a requirement for a Soulmate. With a Soulmate you form an instant bond. That feeling you’ve known that person forever, even though you’ve barely met. The more you stick with a Soulmate, the more in-tune you are with each other. You know what they’re thinking before they say anything. You can sense their emotions without a word. You know you’re going to say “yes” before they even speak. A Soulmate is an instant friend for life, even if circumstances pull you physically apart.
The romanticized version says that there is only one person for everyone in their life, you should wait until you find your Soulmate, and this is the only person you should ever be with. That’s simply not true. It is possible to be happily married forever to someone who isn’t your soulmate. It’s possible to have best friends who aren’t your soulmate. It’s possible to go your entire life without ever meeting a Soulmate. It’s true that marrying a Soulmate is the best possible scenario, but it’s far from the only one.
Notice that I keep sticking “a” before Soulmate? That’s because despite the romanticized version of Soulmates, it is possible to have more than one. There is not one person who is split from your soul and only that one person can fulfill you. It just doesn’t work like that. You can have more than one best friend. You can love more than one Soulmate. I don’t mean to cheapen the definition of a Soulmate by telling you there can be more than one. Soulmates are truly a rare find and completely random. You can go your whole life without ever meeting a Soulmate, or you could meet Ten. It’s something you have no control over. There is no set way to go about finding a Soulmate. There is no way of knowing one until you meet them.
If you do meet one, if your paths cross, hopefully you’ll not only be in a position to recognize it (its hard not to), but to also be able to be with that person until you’re old and grey. Unfortunately this isn’t always possible, but I’ll let you in on a secret; you don’t have to physically be with a Soulmate to retain that connection you share. It’ll always be there, and somehow, some way, your paths will cross again and again.